Everyone has those moments where you don’t exactly like going to school either because you dislike the teachers, the students or the subjects in general. Maybe homework isn’t your strong point and your grades are low because you’ve forgotten to turn in so many assignments and now you hate school because your parents are hounding you about your grades and whatnot and all you want to do is burn the place down to the ground. Yes?
Well, that’s how I feel right now.
The beginning of second semester started off good. Like, I managed to finally get an art class, Japanese is slowly making sense and I may have a chance to travel to Japan this summer, physics is okay, I started a class called Independent Living and teaches me about money and living alone, I was beginning to have fun and bond with people in band once again, I was happily sitting in English without anyone noticing me and history was finally at a place where I can somewhat understand what’s going on.
Now it’s all going backwards and I’m feeling frustrated and angry and a bit depressed about what’s all going on right now and IB tests have barely even started for another month.
In first, my art class, we’re doing things I literally have no interest in doing. While it may be helpful in expanding my art technique but I had more fun in the cartooning class I was in for a week or two before I was forcefully transferred classes with little to no warning (again). It’s alright but I would enjoy it a little more if I the teacher acts so disinterested in some of the things I say to her while she seems to be more interested in other students at their work. Making me feel useless in something that I’ve been doing for nearly my whole life. So it isn’t making me feel happy at all, like art should (most of the time).
In Japanese, my second period, things are much better. I have more friends in that class and I know the teacher well enough, but even knowing her for four years it still feels like we haven’t really connected, like she seems to have with the other students in our class. Where there are little jokes that are between her and the rest of the class plus that student and stuff? That doesn’t happen between us or even some of my friends. It’s kinda disheartening.
Third period: Physics. That’s fine. I have no qualms with that, so I have no actual complaints with that class. Which is weird cause there’s math.
Fourth: Independent Living. This is like the first two periods in my day. Except this is the second time I’ve had this teacher because I had her for a semester last year. But both times, including this year, it seems as if we can’t connect and she just doesn’t understand much about me. I don’t know why it seems like none of my teachers and I can connect, which I’ve been able to do before but this year it just seems impossible and I’m close to just giving up trying in class to interact if it means that there isn’t a connection between teacher and student?
Period 5: Band. Since we’re having band contest next week, our conductor and the other band have been sharing the main band room while switching out after about 90 minutes all together. I play bass clarinet (I switched after playing a regular B flat clarinet after 6 years) and there’s only two of us: my partner and I. Since there’s only two of us our conductor has said multiple times that we should play louder since he wants to hear our sound. But today he contradicted himself and told us we had to be waaaaaay quieter than we have been playing already so the two of us basically play as if we’re nonexistent. That being said, it made me feel like I was back to playing a regular clarinet: We’re meant to be seen, not to be heard (apparently). So I’m sorta feeling depressed and angry at everything right now since it’s being added to stuff that’s already been happening for almost an entire week.
Now onto the bain of my existence: English, period 6. Last Friday, my English teacher ruined a major part (one of the big things in the end) of The Lord of the Rings and made a huge five to seven minute schpiel about being sorry and apologizing and embarrassing me. Yesterday he did it once again, this time commenting about me getting the wrong book (of course it would be me who manages to get the wrong style of book even though the instructions said “any book by the penguin industry” which I got and didn’t even mention it had to start on page 11) and he didn’t even whisper in a quiet room with his microphone on so everyone heard and I was just like “Stop talking to me.” That conversation lasted another five minutes so I’m tired of being in the spotlight of my English teacher. I don’t like being in the main spotlight in English or in History because that’s where all the smart people are since I’m taking IB classes and I’m below average for them. And it’s embarrassing so I’m kinda disinterested in interacting with him for the rest of the year and I’m hoping to lay low for another three-ish months so I don’t have to add more minutes to the end of my life for being embarrassed by my teacher.
And lastly, 7th: History. This isn’t so bad, even though my teacher accidentally called me the wrong name and once in a while mentions me when we’re talking about IB stuff since I’m not taking the same things as everyone else (I’m partial IB not full IB so I’m not getting the IB diploma, meaning I don’t have to worry too much about failing a test and not being able to graduate with my “IB Diploma” because I’m not aiming for an IB diploma).
All in all, I’m sick and tired and dislike school because of teachers right now. I frustrated with people and I had a good start to my day and it ended badly because of the last band after school practice before next Wednesday, which is the day of our contest. So I’m not in the happiest of moods right now because of school.